J. Soltys's Weblog

February 9, 2009

Women’s Violence Against Men Still Acceptable – Videos

wounded-heart2 As Valentines Day approaches, every man will be reminded that if he forgets this special day, he will suffer dire consequences. But what is truly amazing his how sexist and one sided this “mutual relationship” day really is.

In our present environment which stresses gender equality, almost all Valentine’s Day ads will portray the man doing something special for the woman in his life – rare is the ad which shows the woman going beyond her means to please the man in her life. Also consider that when advertisers develop an ad which depicts a spouse forgetting Valentines Day, or depicts a partner being cheap on this special day, it will ALWAYS be the male put in this humiliating position.

Women consistently gripe about how females are portrayed in the media, but they conveniently ignore how men are negatively portray in the media also. Why is it women cry about all the inequalities in the world when it affects THEM, but do not muster any ounce of energy to address the inequities faced by men? The paradigm of Valentines Day and corresponding silence from the “gender equality” (RE: women) appears to validate my opinion of how selfish the women’s movement has become. These self proclaimed “humanist” care only about themselves. If they truly cared about equality for everyone, they would protest these disparaging stereotypes and portrayals of males in society – but they don’t.

Check out how the disturbing reality of gender violence is handled by advertisers and the media. 

In this first video the man can’t make it home to spend Valentines Day with his partner. He’s stuck working late. Her response? Take Valentines Day to him at the office. Sounds great, looks great! But watch until the climax for the advertiser’s “humorous” ending.

 

 

In this next video, a misunderstanding by the man’s wife causes her to assault him. No apology, no mention that if this was real life, her actions would be considered an act of domestic violence. In our present society, men are warned of the consequences of their anger and violence towards women. However, women are taught – with the medias help – that violence against men is acceptable, and hey, it’s also a great form of amusement.

 

 

If you think I’m over extending myself, watch this next video. While on live TV, a woman finds it perfectly acceptable to harass and assault the male reporter. She does this, knowing that society will not hold her accountable for her violent actions. It is only labeled violence when men assault women. When women assault men it’s called “humor”, which is why I found this video while searching for “funny” videos.

 

 

So this is the new gender equality? This behavior is what society piously proclaims we should be advocating? Also, the most vocal and influencial feminist do not find the many examples of female-on-male violence in the media disturbing  judging by their silence?

Count me out of this form of equality. I finished grammar school a long time ago – my thinking has matured since then.

 

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January 26, 2009

A Great Argument For Father’s Abortion Rights

I’ve written about this inequity before, particularly how women expect men to sacrifice their rights in order to achieve equality, but at the same time, women refuse to accept any sacrifice when the situation is reversed. I’ve concluded the women’s rights movement has eroded into a selfish, immature, and sexist movement that advocates and promotes only the security, safety and well-being for women over the “equal” treatment of men, women, and children (including the unborn children).

Writer Tommy De Seno proves this in one of his most recent columns. Enjoy!

 

Roe vs. Wade and the Rights of the Father

By Tommy De Seno
Attorney/Writer

The emphasis must not be on the right to abortion, but on the right to privacy and reproductive control.
–Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Today marks another anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, the Supreme Court decision which overturned all state laws that would stop a woman from having an abortion in the first trimester.

While the topic I have chosen here, “Roe vs. Wade and the Rights of the Father” may sound interesting, actually there is nothing to write about. There are no such rights.

(AP file photo)

(AP file photo)

A father can’t stop an abortion if he wants his child, nor can he insist upon an abortion if he doesn’t want his child.

This situation should trouble everyone, not from a religious point of view, not from a personal choice point of view, but rather from an Equal Rights point of view.

Equal Rights for all people is difficult for any nation to achieve peaceably, because it requires the group in greater power to yield to the group of lesser power. This is usually accomplished only through war. Our own Civil War is a perfect example of equality being created by force, instead of reason and fairness, as it should have been.

This week as I watched and read opinions about Roe vs. Wade, I could find nothing, not a word among millions that addressed a father’s relationship to his unborn child.

Two weeks ago I tried an experiment in anticipation of writing this column. I wrote a column about gun control and posited that only men should vote on the issue of guns. The logic (rather illogic) used by me was that men buy guns the most, men are called upon to use them most (when a burglar enters our home) and we get shot the most. Why shouldn’t men have the only voice on the issue?

I wanted to gauge people’s reactions to the thought that in America we would ever give more weight to one person’s view than another’s because that person can show the issue affects him more.

As I walked around my city during these past two weeks, I was accosted by people who wanted to take me to task for suggesting that women lose their right to vote on an issue just because they may be affected by it less than men. Some pointed out, quite rightly, that even if there was an issue that didn’t affect women at all, as equal members of society, they should still have a voice in all decisions America makes.

Quite right indeed.

So where are all these well-reasoned arguments when it comes to a father and his unborn child? Why do people who have Equal Protection claims at the ready on other issues suddenly suffer constitutional amnesia when abortion is mentioned?

During every abortion a father’s child dies, so fathers are affected. There is much written about the post-abortion depression of women. Nothing is mentioned about the father. A good father knows his role is protector of his child. His depression must be crippling when the law allows him no chance to save his child from death by abortion.

In the Roe vs. Wade decision the Supreme Court found a privacy right in the 14th Amendment, which doesn’t have the word “privacy” in it. Then they found that the privacy right had a “penumbra” containing other rights (penumbra means the shadowy area at the edge of a shadow). In that shadow they found the abortion right. That bit of mental gymnastics aside, it wasn’t the most terrible part of the decision. This was:

The Court said that a woman my not be mentally ready to handle a child at this stage in her life, or the child might interfere with her career path, and that is so important to her that the State has no right to make a law against it.

So I ask today: Might a father find himself mentally not ready for a child? Might a father find a child inconvenient to his career path? If these are the rights women get to protect by choosing abortion, why not allow fathers “the right to choose” also?

I propose a “father’s abortion.” Let a father petition the Court to terminate his own parental rights to his child before or after the child’s birth. He would be rid of his obligations to that child in favor of his mental health and finances, the same as a woman does when she aborts.

As Justice Ginsburg said in the quote that appears at the top of this FOX Forum post, the emphasis is not abortion, rather an individual’s right to control his own reproduction. If we protect such a right for women, can we constitutionally deny it to men?

I propose this not because it would be in any way good. I propose it because constitutional Equal Protection demands it, and to show the danger created when judges destroy democracy by making up laws that don’t exist.

“Father’s Abortion.” It’s high time for a test case.

Any father with such a case can call me and I’ll take it for free.

Read more from Tommy De Seno at www.JustifiedRight.com.

November 13, 2008

Men’s Day At Community College

male-symbol2

If you live in the Chicago area, and want to explore some of the broad topics and interests in the area of men and father issues, then mark down November 23rd as your day.

Oakton Community College, located in Des Plaines Illinois, is hosting its annual Men’s Day with many guest speakers covering many topics of interest for men and fathers. Some of the topics include:

Getting Outside Your Comfort Zone with John Farrell. Healing is always about growing. Moving out of your “comfort zone” is essential to growth. This session will explain how to make that happen.

The Measure of a Man with Timothy Clark. Men face a variety of developmental challenges across the lifespan. We’ll pay specific attention to the reasons some of us become trapped in certain stages of relational, emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual development.

Healing the Father Wound with Greg Baldauf. The heart of men’s work is healing the relationship with one’s father. Whether he was absent, distant, or uninvolved, resolving these issues is vital to healing old wounds, growing as a human being, and becoming a father yourself.

Living the Authentic Life – Not the Lies with George Rounds. Take time to create an authentic life in integrity with your true self. Heal the wounds suffered as you grew into a manhood compromised by the opinions of others. Learn basic skills to be fully present in the life you say you want to have.

Coming Home: Healing Strategies for Iraq/Afghanistan War Veterans with Phil Metres. The “re-entry” process for veterans returning from war is rarely smooth. Some stress disorder and trauma cases are immediately evident, while others become manifest over time. All veterans, however, share a common need to articulate their experiences to empathic listeners—family, friends, and professionals as well.

The BreakThrough Experience with Rick Simon. The BreakThrough Weekend is designed for men who have reached a personal impasse in their lives, or are “stuck” in an unhealthy situation or state of mind. More than 4,000 men have been able to “find a way out” by learning to remove blocks and create a healing spirit in order to build stronger relationships and brighter lives.

Spiritual Renewal and Healing in the Wilderness with John Lionberger. Spending time in the wilderness, even atheists learn there is Something Bigger Than We Are – though they may not call it God. This presentation addresses the power of nature and the timelessness of the wilderness experience as a spiritual conduit. Learn how to take this power back to your daily lives.

Pornography: Harmless Hobby or Infidelity? by Kenn Skorupa. This presentation will examine the prevalence of pornographic images in today’s media and consider the impact of such images on relationships.

And my friend, and also a contributor to this blog, Tim Goldich will present Loving Men, Respecting Women: The Future of Gender Politics. Participants will examine how society has respected women less than men, as well as how men have been loved less than women. Taking into account emotional suppression, hard and hazardous labor, battlefields, imprisonment, and other elements, it will be argued that the vast repercussions suffered by women for being less respected are fully matched by the consequences suffered by men for being less loved.

While this has been a yearly tradition at the college, I’m saddened to say that this years event was almost cancelled due to a lack of interest. I know the distressed economy has a played a large role in the loss of interest, but I feel that should the event be discontinued, it may be a while before men and fathers see an event like this dedicated to only them. Therefore I encourage anyone who lives in the area, and has a passion for men and father issues to make a sincere effort to attend the event and show the Oakton staff that many men and fathers are interested in seeing this event continue. Your presence will validate this to the Oakton staff.

It should be noted that Oakton Community College is the only academic institution that I am aware of in the Chicago land area that has a Men’s Program in its curriculum. I would like to see both of these traditions continue, but they are solely dependent upon the interest and support of men and fathers.

Here is the link to the Oakton’s Men’s Day Event.

 

Reminder: My New Internet Talk Show

I will be broadcasting live Sunday morning on my new show “An Hour With Joe Soltys” at Blog Talk Radio. The main topic: Do Women Belong On the Frontlines of Combat? Click here to find out what time my show starts in your area.

Contact:

soltys.joe@gmail.com
https://jsoltys.wordpress.com

 

November 10, 2008

I Am Venturing Into New Territory

male-symbol

I didn’t have a chance to write anything last week because I was preparing to traverse into two new avenues.

First, I have a new home on BlogTalk Radio. This website offers amateurs like me the opportunity to host their own talk show about any topic of one’s interests. The beauty of this new technology is that it allows one to broadcast live over the internet, and I can chat with my audience by way of live on-air phone calls and instant messages during the show.

I produced my first live show over the weekend, however, I didn’t promote this show because I wanted to focus on getting the “feel” for it, and working out the kinks. The show can be listened to at my home page on BlogTalk Radio (Click Here). This is also where one can check to see when I am scheduled for my next live broadcast.
The only negative I find with this live show is the audio quality. The sound is not the best, but I’m working on delivering the best sound quality the software can provide.

Also, in conjunction with my live show, I have created a new website called DigitalTestosterone.com. This website will be a collection of audio and videos related to men’s and father’s issues. The live audio shows that I produce will be recorded by me in a higher quality format than that used by BlogTalk Radio, and will be archived at DigitalTestosterone.com, in addition to BlogTalk Radio’s automatic archiving of all my work. If you missed my live show, or would like to hear the show in a higher quality format, it can be listened to or downloaded at DigitalTestosterone.com.

If you know anyone (including yourself) who is currently involved in men, father, and gender issues, and you think he or she would make an interesting guest on my show, please contact me by email. Or if you know of some event related to men and father issues happening in your town and would like me to promote it, please pass the information on. And of course, if you just want to call in to express an opinion during a live show, feel free to do so.

Also, should anyone come across any great videos or audios in relation to men’s and father’s issues that they feel would be appropriate for DigitalTestosterone.com, please send them to me. Or if you come across a news story that you feel would be a great topic on my live show, please forward it.

Links for both websites can be found in the sidebar on this page.

 

Contact:

soltys.joe@gmail.com
https://jsoltys.wordpress.com

October 11, 2008

“South Park” Finds Male Rape Humorous

The other day I posted videos corroborating my thoughts which point out how female-on-male violence is often used as an acceptable form of humor and empowerment for women (with male approval) in the main stream media.
I wrote how the same is not true for women. Men’s violence against women for any reason in popular forms of media is called into question immediately. Consequently, the reverse is rarely seen.

Yesterday, I found a controversy that corroborates what I’ve been arguing, and this I feel is a new low.
The cartoon South Park, known for pushing the envelope on sensitive issues, may have finally crossed the line. In its most recent episode, it mocks sexual assault, male rape, rape victims, and throws in three gratuitous male genital mutilation scenes all in one show.
In this episode, the boys are upset with the recent Indiana Jones movie, feeling that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg are “raping” the Indiana Jones legacy for their own personal gain. This is symbolized by three graphic scenes of Lucas and Spielberg actually physically sexually assaulting and raping the Indiana Jones character. Two of the scenes mock the rape scenes from the movies The Accused and Deliverance. A fourth male rape scene involves the two producers caught raping a storm trooper (RE: Star Wars).
This episode also goes so far as to mock the emotional aspect of rape victims coming forward to report a rape, with a scene where the boys descend on the office of the town’s district attorney to report the pseudo rapes.

In a separate subplot, on three separate occasions, men are shot in the groin, with graphic scenes of bloody groin regions and the display of excruciating pain for the victims. I guess this is for “comedic” effect.

I am usually tolerate of twisted humor, but in my opinion, this goes too far. I do not find any humor in mocking rape whether the victim is male or female. But what really irritates me is that because the victim is male, it is accepted as humor. Once again, change the genders, and ask yourself if this episode would have even made it into production. An episode featuring Hillary Clinton getting repeatedly raped by males would never make it to the drawing board, and if it did, it would never make it onto television. But since the victim is male, the producers, the cable network, and its sponsors all APPROVED of this disturbing episode.
Do I need to say anymore about the extreme sexism towards men in popular media? While women have advocated their own grievances with the modern media and its negative influences on females, the big pink elephant in the room is the persistent acceptable violence towards men as funny and humorous. Both men and women are guilty for letting this happen.

Surprisingly, the L.A.Times and a few other outlets have picked up on the controversial episode and its mockery of rape. But sadly, when I read the comments posted about this controversy, the overwhelming majority of respondents stated the episode was hilarious. At the end of the Times article, they have posted an on-line poll to gauge the feelings of the general public. As of this writing, the poll showed over 80% felt the male rape episode was not malicious, only funny.

Strangely, this is one of those times when it feels terrible to right about an issue.

To watch the South Park episode, click here.

‘South Park’ vs. Lucas and Spielberg: Too far?: The L. A. Times

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August 28, 2008

Bikini Barista and Fox News Anchor Display “Perverted” Judgements

Last week a story made the rounds in the main stream media about an incident that took place at a coffee shop in Tacoma, Washington.
A man dressed in women’s clothing pulled up to a coffee shop called “Java Girls” and allegedly exposed himself to one of the baristas. The barista then threw a cup of boiling water in his lap before he had the chance to get away.

At the Fox News website, I had the opportunity to watch a video in which Fox News interviewed the barista who threw the cup of boiling water on the alleged suspect. (“Coffee Confrontation” in US news videos)
After watching the interview, and hearing the female anchor praise the girl as being brave, I have to challenge the estrogen bravado spun from this story and offer my opinion of the barista and the praise of Fox’s female anchor.

The name of the coffee house is called “Java Girls” for a reason. All the barista’s have to be female, and more importantly, the women must serve coffee in the tiniest bikinis they can find. In other words, the whole concept of the coffee house is to stimulate and manipulate the sexual perversions of men. From strippers, to call girls, to Hooter’s girls, to rap music, the concept is always the same – use the female body along with the allure of male sexual fantasies (whatever form it may take) to achieve one goal – to take money from men.

So my question is, “Who is the bigger pervert here?”

This woman took a job with the full knowledge that her job requires her to be scantily dressed with the main purpose of catering to the dark side of male sexuality. She spends hours each day, half naked, serving coffee to male clients along with other half naked women, with the full knowledge that she and her co-workers are catering to a clientele that views her and the other women in a highly sexualized “perverted” manner. But she is shocked by the “perverted” behavior of the man who exposed himself.
Is this irony or hypocrisy?

In the interview she claims the man went through the shop’s drive through three times. Each episode had about ten minutes between them. The barista said she brushed off her first encounter with the man as just a foolish prank. But she says after the second time, and especially the third time, she and her co-worker became really scared.

How scared were they? The women were so scared that they never called the police. Instead, the women enacted a scheme to douse him with boiling water if he should return for a third time. In the ten minutes they had between his second appearance and his third, the only “safety” measures the women procured was to create their plan, prepare the glass of boiling water, and lie in wait for their victim.

Does this sound like a vulnerable, frightened victim, or does it sound more like a psychotic vigilante?
The man made no attempt to harm them physically by trying to force his way into the coffee shop, however, the female baristas seemed to imply this was their biggest fear.
But contrary to their story, instead of fearing a physical altercation with a mentally unstable man, the women devised a scheme to purposely engage the man into a dangerous physical confrontation by dousing his genitals with boiling water. This female bravado had the potential to enrage the man as much as chase him away, and provoke the very physical altercation the women claimed they feared the most. Only after engaging him in this physical confrontation did they decide to call the police.

Jane Skinner, the female Fox News anchor taking part in conducting the interview with the barista is obsessed in the interview with finding out if the boiling water scolded his genitals. I’m not talking about a generalized curiosity. I’m talking about a contemptuous curiosity and a malevolent obsession that the man has received permanent, emotional and physical scars that will make his the rest of his life a living hell.
At the very beginning of the interview she states to her co-anchor that she can’t wait to find out if the barista “got him where it counts”. At the end of the interview she states maliciously to the barista, “I’m sure you got him where it counts.”
What’s the obsession?
Skinner accents the interview with moans and groans of disgust. She concludes her interview by telling the vigilante barista that she is brave, and opines, “A lot of women out there are saying, you go girl!”

A couple of comments:
— It’s disturbing to observe in our society that male genital mutilation is an accepted form of justice, empowerment, revenge, or humor, while anything resembling female genital mutilation is nothing short of barbaric. What the man did is criminal, but he does not deserve to have his genitals mutilated. The women were never in any immediate danger, and this is validated by the fact that they never called the police until after THEY instigated a physical confrontation with him.
As for Jane Skinner’s obsession with male genital mutilation, I’m wondering if she and others who feel similarly also feel the number of female school teachers that are raping their under aged male students should have their vagina’s mutilated to “teach them a lesson”. If she does not have the same emotional reaction towards female perverts, then she has serious issues with sexism, bigotry, and gender discrimination issues that need serious attention. It would seem completely asinine to think that a man who exposes himself to a woman deserves genital mutilation more than a woman who actually forces herself physically and emotionally on some mother’s pubescent son.

— The barista should have been charged with a crime as well as the man who exposed himself. For example, if their was a male manager on duty, who upon seeing what had happened chased the man down and beat him silly, the police would have arrested and charged the male manager with assault. Their reasoning? They would piously invoke the mantra of respect for laws, individual rights, safety of oneself and others, the need for calm and order in chaotic situations, taking the law into your own hands, etc., for not condoning this type of vigilantism. However, because the vigilante is a woman and the act of violence was directed towards a man, the crime is overlooked.
As an example, if a father caught his son’s female elementary school teacher having sex with his son, and in a rage, attempted to mutilated her genitals, do you think the police would ignore his violent act and arrest only the teacher? And if the police did react in that manner, do you think the media and women’s groups would stay silent?

— The hypocrisy from women in situations like these is overwhelming. The same people who complain about society’s sexploitation of women, are the first in line to defend two women who choose to exploit themselves for a quick buck. The women should not have to endure mentally unstable men exposing themselves, but at the same time, in situations like these, responsible women do not extend an austere statement to the baristas and other women explaining how the choices they make affect themselves and others such as:
Do you realize your choice of work put you in this situation?
Does this line of work help or harm your self-esteem?
What examples and sexual boundries are you advocating for younger girls?
If women really cared about the sexploitation of women, these comments should be included along with their disgust for the man that exposed himself.

— The mature, responsible men in society need to become more involved in mentoring the younger generations about the balance between sexual fantasies and sexual realities. While women are concerned about the sexploitation of women, I’m a firm believer that this same sexploitation seriously affects men as well. Sadly, sexual desire and sexual fantasies are used to sell everything these days. It invokes the wrong message to young men and young women.
I believe as a man, older men need to become more prominent in the processes of mentoring young men on the dark side of male sexual fantasies. Young men need to learn the beauty of their masculine sexual nature, but also need to understand the dangers of it, and how others will exploit it for their own benefit.
I feel that if beginning at a young age men were given insight into how to maintain a balanced emotional and mental male sexuality from more mature, responsible male figures, places like the “Java Girls” may not disappear, but they may have less of an allure in the eyes of men. This would benefit both men and women.
For the record, I am not a puritan who believes anything sexual is bad, and that places such as Java Girls shouldn’t exits. I just believe the level of mentoring and education for our young men and women should intensify at the same pace as the sexualized environment.

If there is one positive I can take away from this story it’s this: Given the number of enterprises in our society that cater to the dark side of men’s sexuality, and given the general public opinion that men are always thinking with their penises, according to statistics, the majority of men do not engage in this type of behavior. In other words, if men really are sex crazed machines as some believe, an incident like this would not be a “hot” news story making national news – it would be a common one buried in the back pages of the local newspaper.
Considering the sexualized society we live in, I feel it shows the majority of men handle themselves quite well given an environment which entices them to behave otherwise.

Contact:

soltys.joe@gmail.com
https://jsoltys.wordpress.com
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