J. Soltys's Weblog

November 18, 2008

Male Artists Sexist? Females Need To Look In Mirror


It’s hard for me to continue taking the claims of sexism and derogatory images of women in modern music when I look at the negative and derogatory images towards men proliferating in music by female artists.

I previously wrote how country female stars have written songs provoking violence towards men, and how society rewards them with awards and accolades.
Carrie Underwood won a Country Music Award for her song Next Time He Cheats which tells the story of a woman scorned by a cheating partner, and how she “got even” by committing a criminal and violent act towards his property – something domestic violence prevention advocates warn is the sign of a typical intimate abuser. But Underwood was not criticized for using domestic violence as a form of entertainment, she was rewarded for it.
And just recently, Underwood was quoted as saying having a dog is better than having a man.

Miranda Lambert was a nominee this year for her song Gunpowder and Lead which tells the story about another woman who deals with a cheating partner, but who also claims to have been slapped a few times by him. Her solution – kill him! The song is loaded with an overdose of female empowerment through the use of violence and murder towards an intimate partner. Yet again, DV prevention advocates are silent, and again, society rewards a female artist for her song of hate and violence towards men.

When my daughter asked me recently if she could by a song on iTunes, I took a glance at what songs were being promoted on the iTune site.
I noticed the new song by Britney Spears called Womanizer. In this song, Spears is filled with chest thumping female bravado as she tells some guy how she can see right through him; he’s just a womanizer.
Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

You can play brand new to
All the other chicks out here
But I know what you are
What you are, baby

Fakin’ like a good one
But I call ’em like I see ’em
I know what you are
What you are, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer
You’re a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh
You’re a womanizer, baby

You, you, you are
You, you, you are
Womanizer, womanizer

Amazing that Spears would have the nerve to sing this song, considering in real life she began dating Kevin Federline – her former husband – while he was involved with another woman who was pregnant with his child at the time.

I then I saw on iTunes a song called If I Were A Boy, by Beyonce Knowles. This song is an expression of how a woman assumes what the life of a man is like. It is extremely derogatory, negative, and sexist towards men.
Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

If Beyonce wanted sing a song about what it’s like to be a man, then why didn’t she sing about real life issues facing men:

If I was a man, I’d have to accept the fact that I will be a victim of serious violence or murder by a ratio of 4 to 1 over women
If I was a man, I would suffer in school, worst than the girls, but watch the girls be perceived as “struggling”
If I was a man, the chance I could be homeless would be greater for me than for woman
If I was a man, the chance I would see my kids only on weekends is greater for me than for a woman
If I was a man, the chances are greater I will face a false accusation of domestic violence, child abuse, or rape
If I was a man, my violence would be perceived as that of a monster deserving emotionless justice, while a woman’s violence would be perceived as the result of mental illness, and deserving compassion
If I was a man, the chance I could be an innocent of a crime, but still convicted and sitting in prison is greater for me than for a woman
If I was a man, the chances of me being put to death for a crime is great, while extremely rare for a woman
If I was a man, I would have to hear women tell me how to be a better man, while if I told women how to be better women, I would be called sexist
If I was a man, I would have to hear women tell me how much better I have it, because I am a man

Maybe Beyonce chose this song and all its assumptions because it strokes her fragile ego. The realities of what it’s like to be a man would mean she would actually have to use intellect and compassion – the same characteristics women say men avoid when writing misogynist music.

I’ve come to the point where I’ve just about turned a deaf ear to the cries of women who complain about the harm done by men’s sexist music. I can’t continue to find cause for concern for their issue while these same women completely ignore the amount of sexist songs performed by females, and continue to easily dismiss them as harmless.

As I’ve written before, women passionately want men to stand beside them in an effort to stop the inequities and injustices women face in our society. But sadly, when the genders are reversed, the majority of these same women are quick to turn their back on the same type of inequities and injustices faced by men.

I guess one is left to assume this is the American women’s version of “equality”.





Photo Courtesy of: stockxchng.com


April 7, 2008

In the News…

Here are my picks from the web over the last couple of weeks that I will share with my readers. 

Menstrual Poetry

This is a great feminist read. It is a monthly news letter covering feminist thought on various topics. I absolutely love it because it gives great validation concerning every opinion I have about feminism. In this newsletter, you can find out just how terrible men are, and how women can find a way to blame men for everything. I think the title should have been “It’s All Your Fault”.
But don’t you just love the title? Feminist have cried about the derogatory and sexist words and phrases perpetuated by the patriarchy. What a paradigm shift, don’t you agree? 
A must read for any MRA because validation of our perceptions concerning feminism are accomplished by the babes themselves. Less work, more time to play!

Husbands create 7 hours of extra housework a week: study

Here is the blame and shame game being directed towards men again. In this study, we find out that when women marry, their husbands cause them seven extra hours of work a week. But first, let me give credit where credit is due. The article does mention the reality of household management. It does state that while marriage causes women to work more at home, it is a natural balancing act between men and women because the husband works more hours out of the home. I can only think this intellectual assessment was included because of all the arduous advocacy done by MRA’s to raise awareness to the mythology that men sit around and do nothing, while women are overburdened when it comes to family management.
However, I have one serious bitch. The story itself will be ignored while the disparaging sexist title is the only part everyone – especially women – will remember.

A degree of difficulty for feminism as students change the subject

This article points out the diminishing number of women studies graduates. It seems today’s young women are more interested in getting a degree that will translate into cold hard cash. So it seems feminism has done its job. Young women today are earning their independence through education, which in turn gives them financial independence, which in turn reinforces their self-esteem, which in turn reinforces the belief that a woman doesn’t need a man. Feminism, it seems, has truly led to the liberation of women.
Let’s reflect.
Today’s women focus on their careers, tenasiously driven by the need to sustain financial independence and stability. They bypass marriage as their own desires and needs become the ultimate priority. And when they are ready to settle down and marry, THEY will make this choice – nobody will pressure them into it.

So you see, feminism was all about turning women into men; shockingly distant admirers of men and masculinity, taking notes and using deceptive measures to make it appear that they really despised men and masculinity. Who knew? How come we didn’t see this sooner?


From the ”Succesful females that sexualize themselves” files:

Audrina Patridge of the hit MTV show “The Hills” was discovered to have taken part in nude photos before her rise to fame. But why did she do the photo shoots? Because she thought it would lead to fame. This is what she had to say:

I took these photos years ago when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I was young and very trusting of others and I didn’t know to protect myself. It is a lesson learned, for myself, and hopefully for the young girls who look up to me.

So her message to young girls is not to be manipulated into using your sexuality to achieve fame and fortune – unless of course you are her. After all, she did a nude photo shoot to achieve fame and fortune, and she now has – fame and fortune.
And Audrina really showed how serious she is about her “message” when just this past month she appeared at Sin City’s Pussycat Dolls Lounge as a guest doll wearing what Fox News reported was “a super-sexy rhinestone studded get-up with fishnet stockings and a sequined hat. She later returned to the spotlight to flash a lot more flesh in itty-bitty black hotpants with a pink feather boa.”

Fox also reported, “Audrina, meanwhile, is lapping up the extra attention and sensibly using it to pump up her profile” referring to her nude scandal. As a matter of fact, Audrina and her “people” are gushing with excitement due to the publicity the scandal has delivered for the young actress. Fox News reports, ” So if she is smart about it, Audrina may very well be the next Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian with millions of dollars to prove it.”

With an advocate like Audrina, we should see more young girls getting the message that sexualizing themselves to get ahead is a dead-end street. After all, look how tragic it’s been for her.

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy: A nude photo of France’s first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is to be auctioned off at a sale next month in New York City, an auction house said. The photo is expected fetch $3,000 to $4,000 at the auction.

Aren’t we glad how these successful woman reinforce the belief in our young women that their sexuality is not the key to success? 


A Playboy Model’s Cinderella Story: Here is a feel good story. Maria de Lujan Telpuk is a well known heroine in Argentina. Now known as the “suitcase girl”, Maria was asked one day to work security at the Buenos Aires airport. Working for Argentina’s National Aeronautics, she began her security duties in the VIP section when suddenly she discovered a suitcase filled with three quarters of a million dollars. The suitcase belonged to a powerful business man who has been linked to Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela. The legal limit in Argentina for undeclared currency is $10,000. 
Instead of taking a bribe, Maria turned him in, setting off a political firestrom for the region’s politicians, but gaining respect and heroine status from the general public.   

So what did Maria do with her new found fame and status? Just what every girl does in these situations; she determined it was time to get breast implants and pose for Playboy. Another distinguished mentor for our young women!

(OK, for those that are doing research on breast augmentation, or plan on becoming plastic surgeons, here are the pictures.)  


The Pussy Cat Dolls: This favorite, all female band, of preteen and early teen girls has come out with their own lingerie collection which reveals lots, and lots of flesh.
Perfect! What else do you get the growing teen girl who has everything?

No Punishment: Teacher Posts Dominatrix Pics With Students on Website (video):  A photo of a teacher dressed as a dominatrix, and shown dominating one of her scantily clad students, was found on the teachers website. However, the school does not believe this interferes with her ability to teach, and decided she will receive no punishment. The teachers excuse? It was part of her cirriculaum for the creative writing class she taught.

What? Did her whip have a ball point pen on the end of it?

There you have it! This is proof that men and the patriarchy are responsible for degrading and sexualizing women. One cannot challenge this kind of data!

From “Fighting the myth ‘Men are Monsters, Women are Martyrs’ Files”:

Broken Bones, Fractured Skull: Mother Accused Of Viciously Beating 7-Week-Old: Mother beats child so bad he is not expected to live. This same woman had been investigated over another abuse charge concerning her daughter, but nobody was looking out for her son.

Woman gets death sentence in fetus-snatching murder: A woman convicted of murdering an expectant mother and kidnapping the baby from her womb received a federal death sentence. Lisa Montgomery, convicted of killing a pregnant woman, joins two other women on federal death row. U.S. District Judge Gary Fenner handed down the sentence in Kansas City, Missouri, on Friday. Lisa Montgomery becomes only the third woman on federal death row.

Only the third woman on death row? Boy it really sucks being a woman living in this male dominated world.

Woman Gets 99 Years in Killing Plot: A former stripper-turned-soccer-mom convicted of plotting to kill her former fiancé 12 years ago was sentenced Wednesday to 99 years in prison.
Mechele Linehan, 35, who until her arrest had been living a quiet life as the wife of an Olympia, Wash., doctor, was convicted in October of first-degree murder in the 1996 shooting death of Kent Leppink. Anchorage Superior Court Judge Philip Volland called the crime the worst in its category: premeditated, cold and cruel. The motive was a $1 million insurance policy that Linehan mistakenly believed named her as the beneficiary, prosecutors said.

Sounds to me like there should be four women on death row. Anybody have the guts to say “female privilage”?

Year’s jail for ‘wicked’ false rape accusation: A woman who falsely accused a soldier of rape has been described as “wicked” by the judge who sentenced her to a year in jail. Amanda Lang, 21, had consensual sex with Lance Corporal Philip Trowell after drinking with him at RAF Brize Norton, Oxfordshire. The act took place in Lang’s bedroom which she shared with her pilot boyfriend. The court heard that after sex Lang started to cry, saying she felt guilty. Once L/Cpl Trowell had left, she complained to neighbours that she had been raped.
Lang sobbed as Judge Julian Hall, at Oxford Crown Court, sentenced her to one year in prison and told her: “What you did was wicked. That is the evil of what you did – it undermines the whole process. This is a case where a message has to be sent out to everybody that false allegations of rape are insidious to a degree.”

It’s nice to see the courts are finally realizing how damaging false allegations are, not only to the victim, but to society overall. But sentencing her to one year in jail is a slap on the wrist. She’ll be out long before the year is over, so the message sent is a weak one. (Note: She had sex with this man in the bed she shares with her boyfriend, and then had the audacity to accuse him of disgusting, immoral behavior. What a piece of work she is.)

Now woman in YouTube ‘rape’ is arrested over underage sex allegations: It was the shocking video that caused outrage and led to calls for YouTube to vet all its content. The three-minute clip, filmed on a mobile phone, apparently showed a young and unconscious mother being gang raped as she lay helpless in her own home. It was posted on the popular video-sharing website, which is owned by Google, within hours of the incident on November 6 and was viewed more than 600 times. The clip stayed on the website for three months after YouTube staff failed to remove it.
The alleged victim claims it shows her being raped by three boys in front of her screaming children, aged two and four, after being drugged.
But yesterday it was revealed that the 24-year-old woman has now been arrested on suspicion of unlawful sexual intercourse with a 14-year-old and perverting the course of justice.
Scotland Yard confirmed it will take no further action against two 16-year-olds and a 14-yearold arrested in February in connection with the video.

Is this woman the sister of the one above, or is this behavior becoming a trademark characteristic of femininity?

Thief slithers away with a big snake — in her pants: Police in Michigan’s capital are searching for a woman who stuffed a baby boa constrictor down her pants and slipped away from a local pet store, the Lansing State Journal tells us. Security cameras recorded the heist yesterday, the owner of Preuss Animal House told the LSJ. (Like USA Today, it’s owned by Gannett.) The woman opened a glass case, snatched the snake and jammed it you-know-where.

Well… I can’t… it’s too easy.






Photo Courtesy of: stockxchng.com




February 11, 2008

Men, Women, and Crimes in the name of God

religious.jpg                                         This article was originally written 27-Sep-2007 

                   Warren Jeffs was convicted this week as an accomplice to rape. He was the leader of a Mormon polygamous sect called the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He was convicted on this charge because he performed a wedding for a 19 year old male and a fourteen year old female. The two later consummated the marriage. The husband, now 26, has been charged with rape. Warren Jeffs is looking at possible life in prison, and the husband is definitely looking at serious prison time. 

 This case is interesting to me because it shows the hypocrisy in our justice system and our culture. But first let’s establish the obvious – this is a very religious sect that looked upon Jeff’s as a prophet. Jeff’s himself is a deeply religious person who really believed he was some sort of Messiah. So why wasn’t he viewed as being mentally ill by our justice system, and within our court of public opinion? Instead, he was labeled with the usual “dominate, male-ego machine” personality who was in need of power and control, abusing all that came into contact with him. Is there any gender bias here? 

In 2004, the Associated Press ran an article titled “Religiosity common among mothers who kill children“. This article states,

“Women who kill their children commonly cite God, the devil and other religious influences for their actions.”

It also states,

“Although the mothers are also often found to be severely mentally ill or psychotic, the recurring theme of religiosity begs the question: Is religion to blame?”

The article then continues to present some interesting information:

 “In a recent study of 39 Ohio and Michigan women – all acquitted by reason of insanity in the deaths of their children since the 1970s – about 15 had religious-themed delusions, said Dr. Susan Hatters Friedman, a psychiatry fellow at Case Western Reserve University.

Another study of 56 Michigan mothers referred for psychiatric evaluations from 1974-1976 after killing their children found nearly a fourth of them experienced religious delusions, said study co-author Dr. Catherine Lewis, an assistant professor at the University of Connecticut Health Center.

Not only does the article point out our justice system’s leniency with mom’s who kill their children, but I feel it also raises the question of sexism between female and male religious zealotry. As far I as I know, Warren Jeffs’ mental competency wasn’t an issue in this case even though he professed to being a prophet. Wouldn’t somebody with this mentality have had some kind of ugly childhood?  

And consider this: he was not the individual who actually committed the criminal act of rape upon the 14 year old girl, but he could be facing life in prison. Now let’s compare.  If a woman kills her child/children, her mental competency is immediately questioned. And if she professes to kill in the name of God, the potential to avoid prison increases significantly.

Is it just me, or is this another disturbing trend of discrimination towards men in our criminal justice system? When speaking about the court of public opinion, I cannot remember David Koresh, Jim Jones, Jim Baker, or other male criminal religious leaders ever being graced with the label of being mentally ill wrapped in sympathetic tones and offered leniency and compassion at the company water cooler for their actions. But if you are a female child killer, it is guaranteed.

 I am not condoning what any of these men have done; I am just looking for equal justice. Women and their supporters are willing to fight for all the rewards that come with equality to men: power, money, status, etc. But these same people become yellow bellied when it comes to being held equally accountable.I feel if that if we, as a society, find it acceptable to apply the skills of using intellect, reasoning, compassion, and understanding to forgive women who kill their own children, and other heinous criminal acts, why aren’t we doing the same for our men? 

Sexism is the only answer.

February 7, 2008

Live and Let Die

nodeathpenalty.jpg   A while back there was a story that made international headlines concerning a woman from Saudi Arabia who was raped by a gang of men. There was an international outcry that erupted when the Saudi legal system placed the sentence of 90 lashes upon her for being with an old boyfriend at the time of the attacks. It is illegal in Saudi Arabia for a female to be alone in the presence of a non-family male.
I wrote about how this international outcry from politicians, human rights organizations, politicians, and numerous writers in the media were all ignoring the fact that the male companion the woman was with was also beaten, raped, and sentenced to 90 lashes for his role in all of it. None of these same people gave a damn about the physical, emotional, and human injustices he was subjected to. The world’s martyrs were only concerned about the female victim.
Eventually, enough international pressure was put on the Saudi government over this incident that they retreated and abolished her sentence. A few days later, with much less fanfare, the media reported the male companion’s sentence had been abandoned also.
I used this international event to validate how the physical, emotional, and mental well-being of our men is not a priority in most societies, even in those socities that openly discriminate against women.

I now read there is a new story making international headlines concerning the Saudi government and the arrest of an American woman.
It appears the woman was sitting in a Starbucks with a male colleague when the Saudi Arabia’s Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice approached them. The American woman was arrested for being in the presence of a male, and according to the London Times she was, “interrogated, strip-searched and forced to sign and fingerprint a series of confessions pleading guilty to her crime”. She wound up spending a day in prison.
I’m sure this story will stir up more controversy, and I’m sure it will be the harbinger of a few invectives written in newspapers about how sexist the Saudi government is, and how this is an example of how women everywhere are openly discriminated against everyday.

But I can guarantee there is one story about a serious violation of human rights that will not be spoken in the same breath as the story above. The reason being, this victim is a male.
In Iran, a 22 year-old man has been sentenced to death for drinking alcohol – a criminal offense in the strictly Islamic nation.
According to reports, this is the man’s fourth offense relating to alcohol consumption. Therefore, according to the Islamic penal code, the punishment for these numerous offenses is death by hanging.

It is obvious that the young man has an addiction to alcohol. Anybody that has been previously made aware of the serious consequences of his or her actions, yet continues to engage self-destructive behavior, needs professional help, not the death penalty. The man is an alcoholic, not a criminal.
But I will stick my neck out and predict the international community will remain silent on the injustice this man is facing. When the Saudi government was going to sentence a rape victim to numerous lashings – meaning she would suffer but live – it was viewed as an unconscionable act by the Saudi government. But when the Iranian government is going to kill a male only because he suffers from an addiction to alcohol, there is no outcry from all the martyrs in the media, in politics, and in the human right’s organizations. He is simply a man, and as I’ve pointed out before, men’s lives and their well-being is low on many agendas including those of politicians, advocacy groups, and many countries, including those countries that are well-known for their open discrimination of women.

While I am truly appalled by the discrimination of women in these countries, what is always missing is the fact these same countries also violate the civil and personal rights of their own men as well as their women.
The fight for women’s rights in these countries should also unequivocally include the awareness and prevention of the inalienable rights of all the citizens in these countries. That would be an effort in equality. Anything less is a snow job.

American Woman Jailed in Saudi Arabia for Sitting With Man at Starbucks
Iranian faces execution for drinking alcohol — report


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