J. Soltys's Weblog

November 18, 2008

Male Artists Sexist? Females Need To Look In Mirror

media-violence1

It’s hard for me to continue taking the claims of sexism and derogatory images of women in modern music when I look at the negative and derogatory images towards men proliferating in music by female artists.

I previously wrote how country female stars have written songs provoking violence towards men, and how society rewards them with awards and accolades.
Carrie Underwood won a Country Music Award for her song Next Time He Cheats which tells the story of a woman scorned by a cheating partner, and how she “got even” by committing a criminal and violent act towards his property – something domestic violence prevention advocates warn is the sign of a typical intimate abuser. But Underwood was not criticized for using domestic violence as a form of entertainment, she was rewarded for it.
And just recently, Underwood was quoted as saying having a dog is better than having a man.

Miranda Lambert was a nominee this year for her song Gunpowder and Lead which tells the story about another woman who deals with a cheating partner, but who also claims to have been slapped a few times by him. Her solution – kill him! The song is loaded with an overdose of female empowerment through the use of violence and murder towards an intimate partner. Yet again, DV prevention advocates are silent, and again, society rewards a female artist for her song of hate and violence towards men.

When my daughter asked me recently if she could by a song on iTunes, I took a glance at what songs were being promoted on the iTune site.
I noticed the new song by Britney Spears called Womanizer. In this song, Spears is filled with chest thumping female bravado as she tells some guy how she can see right through him; he’s just a womanizer.
Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

You can play brand new to
All the other chicks out here
But I know what you are
What you are, baby

Fakin’ like a good one
But I call ‘em like I see ‘em
I know what you are
What you are, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer
You’re a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh
You’re a womanizer, baby

You, you, you are
You, you, you are
Womanizer, womanizer
Womanizer

Amazing that Spears would have the nerve to sing this song, considering in real life she began dating Kevin Federline – her former husband – while he was involved with another woman who was pregnant with his child at the time.

I then I saw on iTunes a song called If I Were A Boy, by Beyonce Knowles. This song is an expression of how a woman assumes what the life of a man is like. It is extremely derogatory, negative, and sexist towards men.
Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

[Verse]
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

If Beyonce wanted sing a song about what it’s like to be a man, then why didn’t she sing about real life issues facing men:

If I was a man, I’d have to accept the fact that I will be a victim of serious violence or murder by a ratio of 4 to 1 over women
If I was a man, I would suffer in school, worst than the girls, but watch the girls be perceived as “struggling”
If I was a man, the chance I could be homeless would be greater for me than for woman
If I was a man, the chance I would see my kids only on weekends is greater for me than for a woman
If I was a man, the chances are greater I will face a false accusation of domestic violence, child abuse, or rape
If I was a man, my violence would be perceived as that of a monster deserving emotionless justice, while a woman’s violence would be perceived as the result of mental illness, and deserving compassion
If I was a man, the chance I could be an innocent of a crime, but still convicted and sitting in prison is greater for me than for a woman
If I was a man, the chances of me being put to death for a crime is great, while extremely rare for a woman
If I was a man, I would have to hear women tell me how to be a better man, while if I told women how to be better women, I would be called sexist
If I was a man, I would have to hear women tell me how much better I have it, because I am a man

Maybe Beyonce chose this song and all its assumptions because it strokes her fragile ego. The realities of what it’s like to be a man would mean she would actually have to use intellect and compassion – the same characteristics women say men avoid when writing misogynist music.

I’ve come to the point where I’ve just about turned a deaf ear to the cries of women who complain about the harm done by men’s sexist music. I can’t continue to find cause for concern for their issue while these same women completely ignore the amount of sexist songs performed by females, and continue to easily dismiss them as harmless.

As I’ve written before, women passionately want men to stand beside them in an effort to stop the inequities and injustices women face in our society. But sadly, when the genders are reversed, the majority of these same women are quick to turn their back on the same type of inequities and injustices faced by men.

I guess one is left to assume this is the American women’s version of “equality”.

 

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8 Comments »

  1. its better to have music in your lyrics, so put it here.

    Comment by rainan mane — November 18, 2008 @ 8:56 pm | Reply

  2. Fantastic piece. One of your best.

    Comment by Brad — November 19, 2008 @ 12:44 am | Reply

  3. Very well put. You have made an excellent case for reverse sexism especially with the example of “if I was a man” which clearly was made to display the privelege that males are born into in our society but is not without risks. When the roles are reversed women often rationalize their sexism by saying they have put up with sexism for so long that their behavior is justified. The key to a more egalitarian society is to learn to walk in each others shoes in order to grasp a better understanding of each other.

    Comment by scotty — November 21, 2008 @ 3:08 pm | Reply

  4. get off of your self righteous head case. just because you do not understand the struggles women go through does not give you the right to tell US we are being ignorant men don’t know what it is to truly be ridiculed and disrespected because you have boobs and a vagina. if you want women to respect you i suggest you stop being an asshole and learn that women have not even come close to committing the injustices on men than men have on women. by the way i have to notice that you did not even mention the countless songs by men that admit to cheating, rappers abusing a bitch or ho in their song and countless others that cause women to rebut with songs of violence towards men.

    Comment by Allision — April 21, 2009 @ 6:44 am | Reply

  5. Allison, shut up. Women do not go through “struggles”. Women deserve the bad things that happen to them because they expect better treatment. Equal rights? Sounds more like you want more! Get off you high-horse and kill yourself.

    Comment by God — April 25, 2009 @ 1:17 pm | Reply

  6. ‘God’ that is exactly why women feel the way they do. As soon as a woman feels the strength to speak boldly about her opinions she’s instantly told to “shut up”. I mean do we really have to “kill ourselves” because of a difference of perspective. I absolutely agree with the article or paper about sexism towards men. Its a fair statement because women just as men overgeneralize and stereotypically assert certain attributes to the opposite sex that they seem fitting. Its not right on either ends and simply put should just be eliminated from music altogether. I’d like to hear a song that justly approached male/female relationships in a realistic and optimistic approach, however the chances of that happening are slim and the occurences of it are even smaller. One should not be condemned for feeling the way they do, we all live and lead different lives and our “struggles” as males or females is just that “OUR” struggles. its not up to anyone else to define what that means for that person. so if a women feels exploited, degraded, abused, oppressed, etc., thats her right to express that, as its men’s right to express theirs as well. if you dont like the music….don’t listen to it. its as simple as that, because unfortunately its an industry operated and run by a selective few that are basically marketing their own perspectives. its what it is.

    Comment by Jennifer — April 26, 2009 @ 7:51 pm | Reply

  7. Jennifer, you’re bang on for the most part. Except for the first sentence. Women are NOT told to shut up about their opinions… quite the opposite actually.
    I can’t count how many times I’ve been silenced by feminists (like Allison) as soon as I start to point out inequalities that affect me.

    Comment by Jake — December 21, 2009 @ 1:02 pm | Reply

  8. Hello, I’m a seventeen year old girl and I think that you’ve made some excellent points, in a huge amount of ways, guys have it a lot harder than girls do and its makes me very sad to think that the world is that way. Guys are great! And I don’t mean that in a sexual way, I’m a happy virgin thanks. I really hope that what you’ve written starts to change the way that the world thinks about men and yes I totally agree with you that the women who worte those songs are total hypocrites and or don’t have a clue what they’re on about.

    SIGH. I know I’m only young, but please understand when I say that I would like to help in anyway that I can, but there are some parts that I do disagree with, comment 6 is very true in a sense that when women do get the courage to say what’s on there minds, more times than one they have been immediately shut down by a male, this I believe is because some men don’t have a very open mind towards a lot of things and I have a question for the guy who wrote this article, why does it seem like its either the man’s way, or the highway? The guy is always right no matter what or atleast it seems that way…

    Oh well, maybe I watch too much tv to get that impression in the first place..

    (Shrugs) but what do I know right?
    I’m just a kid.
    Sorry for making anyone angry. I like to involve myself in these kind of discussions, but I tend to accidently offend people, if this is the case, I am very sorry.
    P.S. Just to break a stereotype, I prefer alot of artworks done by men and listen to a lot of music written by men. Oh well, I guess I’m weird, but atleast I’m happier than most of the people who have commented on this sight who seem to be upset. Bye.

    Comment by Nomad — March 11, 2010 @ 5:52 am | Reply


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