Male Privilege – An Oxymoron

        I was searching through some recently released research articles when I ran across this one. It is titled,

“Domestic Violence Harms Long-Term Health of Victims”.

I began reading and was pleasantly surprised to find that the first paragraph started like this:

 “Women and men who are victims of intimate partner violence are also more likely to suffer from chronic health conditions and participate in risky behaviors, U.S. health officials report.” 

I could not believe what I was reading. A report on domestic violence not only acknowledged men as victims along with women, but did so in the first paragraph.  About f***ing time I thought. 

I have written previously how when issues cross gender lines - with women being perceived as victimized more often than men – the information will rarely include a mention of male victims or their statistics. And if the report does include male victims, it usually is buried somewhere in the report, and if you blink, you will miss the acknowledgement of male victims. 

But here was a newly released report about domestic violence acknowledging male victims right beside female victims. I felt the hard work of many men to raise awareness to male victims of domestic violence by female abusers was beginning to pay off.  

Unfortunately, the article was a tease, just like that girl from high school who led you to believe that something magical was about to happen, only to recognize your fathers advice that “If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.”

After reading through what appeared to be equitable treatment of both male and female victims in this article, the moment of equity was shattered by the director of Violence Against Women Prevention at Harvard University School of Public Health, Jay G. Silverman.  His comment about this new research included this:

“Beyond concerns for these data representing the true state of [intimate partner violence] and associated health concerns,  this is certainly an important study.”

“Although women and girls suffer far higher rates of abuse, are far more likely to be injured, and far more likely to be killed by male partners than are men reporting abuse from women, there is a push from some professional quarters to equate these experiences and remove considerations of gender.”                          

If I am interpreting his comments correctly, what Mr. Silverman is really trying to say is, equating domestic violence as a public health concern – meaning gender neutral terminology – is at its best, a disservice to women, and at its worst, an insult to female victims of domestic violence. 

Again we see that sexism still reigns in domestic violence circles. Mr. Silverman and others like him are insulted at the inclusion of men and their children in the aggregate of those harmed by domestic violence. He and others engage, without hesitation, in treating female victims of domestic violence as they should be treated – as human beings. But sadly, these same people treat male victims of domestic violence and their children as simply numbers. They perceive the extension of their compassion and resources to be delegated by statistical numbers – mercy to those with a greater percentage sign, pity on those in the minority. 

Consider that most people who are affiliated in some way with domestic violence prevention, and/or research, are also stringent women rights advocates. These same people refuse to accept “playing the numbers game” when the numbers would discriminate against women, and place any hardships upon them in a given situation.  

For example, how would Mr. Silverman and women’s rights groups react if the government decided to deny most female Iraq war veterans physical and mental health care because most of the wounded in this war are men, meaning they deserve access to most government dollars? And then establish only male soldiers as true wounded veterans because that’s the way the numbers add up? 

How would these same people feel if corporate America decided to pay men more than women because after all, the numbers show American men are the dominate bread winners in the family, and therefore, women, children, and society in general, are dependent upon them for stability?  

OOPS! I forgot. That one has been tried by men. And women are still bitching about it years later.  My we are quick to forget that when men tried playing the “numbers game”, women refused to accept it.

Today, women’s groups and their supporters try to shove this same sexist bulls**t down are throats. It’s an insult to both men and women’s intellect to think that just because they’ve wrapped their version in compassionate pretty paper, an honest mind will not see that it’s still the same sexist bulls**t behind their pretty bows. 

But let me end on a good note. This article appears on the website MedicineNet.com, and if you look up their information concerning domestic violence, you will find male victims being acknowledged. While most of the information is weighed heavily towards female victims, they acknowledge society’s refusal to see males as true victims of domestic violence with this quote:

“Despite the myth that violence against men does not occur, 800,000 men are victims of intimate partner abuse.” 

 For more information about domestic violence and the myths surrounding it, check out the website Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting (RADAR).  

Another good website is Domestic Violence Factoids by well known D.V. researcher Richard Gelles.

Contact:

soltys.joe@gmail.com